Faith

Most people don't talk about their religion.  When they do, it's usually used as a label, like "oh she's Catholic" - like that would explain something about her.  When was the last time you sat down and had an honest talk about religion and God with your friends or family?

Now, I might be going off the deep end here, but I don't share this with people in everyday life. I don't talk about religion or politics.  I don't ask.  They don't tell.  But why? Why shouldn't this be a part of our conversations if it is a part of our lives and of our hearts?

I was raised as nothing.  In fact, I was raised almost anti-religious.  My dad spoke about religion and religious people as though it were a stupid thing to be a part of.  Why would you believe in something so strongly when there is no proof? Why would you devote your life and your Sundays to a Church without being bopped over the head with a Bible and told "it's true"? I'll tell you my story.

In high school I went to Seminary with my best friend.  She is Mormon and I thought Mormon guys were cute, so why not?  I began to take it very seriously.  We would go to church on the weekends and then her Dad would sometimes take me for a ride on his motorcycle.  Just the 2 of us.  Man did I feel special! Her family is the kind of family you see in movies.  She was the kind of friend you had only in dreams.  I'm not sure if I was more drawn to her family or the church, but I was in love.  I loved the feeling that I got in church and I loved the people.  I loved her family as much as I love my own.  I wanted to get baptized by her Dad.  My Dad said "no religion until you are 18."  I guess it wasn't my decision to make.  I went to college, I moved past the church.  I spoke about it with Brian and about my happy memories and my desire to be Mormon.  It wasn't a "thing" and I didn't think he was interested, so I let it go.

Before we had kids Brian and I began a spiritual journey in which we decided we should be Jewish.  His family is Jewish, my Dad was Jewish.  It was a natural fit, right? Wrong.  We went to several synagogues and it just wasn't for us.  At all.  There's nothing wrong with the Jewish religion but the fit was just wrong. We moved past it.  Again.  If we weren't going to be Jewish, we weren't going to be any religion.

Well, this high school friend who I rarely see but love deeply, had kept me in her prayers.  Her Dad too.  Her Dad always looked out for me.  One day they were in Utah because her brother was coming home from his mission and they were compelled to go into a visitor center.  The sister missionaries in the visitor center asked for a referral.  My friend said that she had to say my name.  She told them about me and she gave them my phone number.  Her Dad said "What a great idea!" He knows me in a deep spiritual way.  He knew it was a good idea.

So this wonderful sister missionary called me.  I had just gotten in the car after a wild trip to Cabo (wild as in, Landon was sick, Hunter was sleeping and I was exhausted).  I told her it was a bad time.  Then I called my friend.  "I got this interesting phone call yesterday."  I hear laughter.  "Oh Trish, I meant to tell you before she called! Are you mad?" Was I mad? Not at all.  How could I be mad. I know that she loves her church and she loves me and she wants to save my soul.  How could I be mad? I finally did speak to the missionary.  And again.  We were speaking 3-4 times a week and she was sending me literature and videos online to watch and to learn the Gospel.  My head was full of it.  I thought it would explode.  Meanwhile my dear husband hadn't heard any of it except from me.  He thought I had lost it.  I blurted out "I think we should become Mormon."

I know what he thought.  We've been together for almost 10 years.  There's no mistaking what I saw in his eyes.  "Another one of her phases" - that's what he thought. Then he told me words that made me think I had no hope: "I feel no need for God in my life."  There is no arguing with that.  You do or you don't.  I'm sure he thought about it and remembered that I almost converted in high school.  He knows how much I adore this family.  He thought about it.  I said to him "We will go to church 4 times and the missionaries will come once. If you aren't interested then we're done."  Being a very good husband (and knowing that I wouldn't drop it), he said "ok".

The missionaries came.  At the end of about 45 minutes they said "So would you like to be baptized?" Brian almost laughed.  "No, but you can come back on Thursday."  He was interested.  They came a few more times and we went out of town.  I thought it was a horrible time to go out of town.  He's going to lose interest. I just knew it.  But he didn't! He read a bunch of books about being Mormon, including my favorite "Mormonism for Dummies".  He was interested! Really interested.  When we got home the missionaries came a few more times and approached the topic again. "So, would you like to be baptized?" I look at Brian, tears in my eyes.  He says "Sure".  SURE!?!? Really?! I told him that I didn't want to push him.  I didn't want to do it unless he was ready. I don't want the missionaries pushing him.  HE needed to decide on his own.  He was ready.  They had a date - February 27th. We agreed.

This journey has been amazing.  Learning to have faith and the power of prayer.  Learning to love everyone as your brother and sister - it all brings peace to your soul.  You let go of anger, you feel a calm and a peace.  Walking into the church is like walking into a second home and praying brings joy.  It makes me feel love for people out there who would otherwise annoy me.  It makes me less likely to judge people.  It makes me want to be around my church friends.  They have a peace to them.  They know, like I know, that this church is true. This is the right way.  I know that God answers my prayers.  I've seen it happen.  I know that the church answers my prayers.  I know that my husband and I will love one another forever, I have faith in that. And I have a deeper love for him than I could have imagined since exploring this religion together.  I feel safe in this religion.  I don't even feel the need to question it on most days.  As Brian says "You were just waiting for the missionaries to knock on your door." That might be true.

I mostly want to thank my best friend from high school and her family.  Her wonderful, loving, faithful family who has believed in me for my whole life and who didn't give up on me.  I cannot wait to see them this weekend when they come to see us get baptized (and when her Dad baptizes me).  I am full of love and I know that they helped me feel this way.  I know that Heavenly Father brought them into my life and he helped me get here too.  I am just so thankful and so in love.

So why don't we talk about religion when it brings such joy to some people's lives? I don't know. But I'm willing to talk about it to anyone who wants to listen.