It's a big day!

My aunt wrote an email this morning asking some family members to share their favorite memories of my mom.  Brian and the boys are getting ice cream right now (to celebrate mom's birthday) while I am home for Aspen's nap time. He's bringing some back for me :-)

I have had a very emotional day. I found out we are having a baby girl and I just know my mom sent her to me. It's also a dream come true to be able to say "2 boys and 2 girls" which is exactly what I always wanted. Last night, Brian came home from work with a surprise for me. He got me a picture (professional) of a hummingbird. Every time I see a hummingbird I say "hi Mom!" because I am convinced my mom is watching over me somehow and sending them to say "hi." So this weekend has very much so been a reminder of my mom.

This email sent me into a bit of a fit when I realized I don't have any favorite memories with my mom. I started crying when I realized this and asked Brian if that was weird.  She's been gone for over 9 years, so pretty much my entire adult life. 

When I think of my mom she is always smiling. She makes goofy faces. She sings off key and way too loud, but everyone around her enjoys it. She dances like a rockstar and always kicks off her shoes while dancing. She loves her kids beyond measure. She is a lover of life and a goofball extraordinaire. I remember going shopping with her a lot while I was in high school.  She loved to dress me up and buy me nice clothes, but the best part of it was always having lunch with her at the mall food court.  Sitting and talking. I remember the feeling I would get from being with her, a certain sense of peace and calm. I knew she accepted and loved me no matter what. I know she always will.

My mom never said a negative thing about me. I was chubby and awkward in middle school, but if you asked my mom I was always beautiful to her. I wore dark lipstick and baggy clothes but she never seemed to notice, except to take me shopping at more mainstream stores. She never commented on my weight or on her own. I respect her so much for all of these things.

I remember having 4 of my best girlfriends and their moms over for a sleepover. We had SO much fun with the moms and the daughters. I remember getting my nails done with her from the time I was about 4 years old (a tradition I will continue with my daughters.) 

I don't have a ton of very specific memories, but I have a general feeling of how she made me feel and how much she loved me. 

Here we are at Lake Mead before I was even 1 yr old!

 And this is how I picture my mom - goofing off with her sisters. I am so grateful that I get to give Aspen a little sister!!! What a beautiful bond these women have - and the way they have adopted me to treat me like they treat their own kids.

 My beautiful Mama at the ripe old age of 25. I won a Beauty pageant. ooh la la.

 Mom and my brother.At FAO. Big smiles. Big goofballs.

 Enjoying a picnic (and some wrestling) in Sausalito. So much fun!

 In college when my mom moved into her first house! Our friends came over to help her move and get settled. She is sitting on my friend Jon's lap. Jon is the friend who is a doctor at NIH and helped me and Hunter. Brian is in the back with his hand on my shoulder. He was such a baby!

 Me and mom in Utah for the Shakespeare film festival when I was 16.

 My mama and my Papa. This was her 40th birthday. I was 17.

 My senior prom. Not one of my best looks but I love the picture with my Mommy. I love my mommy SO much! I need to get more of these photos of us scanned! She wasn't yet 46 when she passed away. It's been over 9 years and I miss her so much. I KNOW that she sent me this baby girl. She was a blessing and I hope I can be just like her as a mom.

 Girl parts! The tech said "Any guesses?" And I was cringing but I looked up and saw the LACK of testicles and said "It's a GIRL?!?!?!" She agreed and pointed out those 3 little lines. Just like Aspen had.

 Sweet little profile. The tech says she has a tiny nose just like Aspen :-)

 I was about to find out and I was laughing about how nervous I was!

 Aspen looks like she is in shock, Landon is annoyed (what else is new) and Hunter was ecstatic. He sat through the whole 10 minute ultrasound, looking at the baby and watching and learning. He is SO excited to be getting a baby sister. I know my prayers were answered on this one. And there was a LOT of praying, as it took 7 months and 1 miscarriage to get this baby! Thanks Mom, for sending her to us!